About ME!!!!!!!!

hey i was just arbidly thinking about how much i mean to all my
friends out there . So like why dont you guys tell me. Pls try and be honest and not ur bloody immature selves.

Name

how long have we known each other?

how did we meet?

funny moment we shared?

sad moment we shared?

have we ever fought?

describe my personality in 3 words-


smartest thing i have said?


dumbest thing i have said?

my most admirable quality

my most irritating quality

have we ever

kissed ?
hugged ?
got drunk together?
smoked together?

played basketball together?

*On a scale 1 to 10* TELL THE TRUTH

how funny am i?

how mature am i?

how smart am i?

how mean am i?

how nice am i?

how outgoing am i?


*my future*

where will i live in ten years?

what job will i have?

will we still be friends?

Bye Bye Miss American Pie......

Voodoo ....Voodoo
Ever heard about the Black Ages when "witches" were recognized by their "attire" .. Surprisingly today the attire of those yonder years would be heralded as some new fashion statement. So what is it with this excessive openess and this acceptance of "being different"

Once me and my pal were just conversing about "religious beliefs" which is the most engaging topic after the indigestion because of the dirty burger from "Sri rama lulu halli" and the world war3 sound track from the toilet behind(after that).

According to him it seems that planets can affect the life of a person ( no disrespect to him ofcourse . Every one is entitled to his own views and beliefs in life)

This is a piece of the conversation between him ( of whatever i can recall with a little bit of mirch masala for the pleasure of my readers)

Him : imagine the universe . there is a force exerted on each heavenly body by the other bodies.

Me: yes

Him : Now some of these forces cancel out on each other and the resultant force is what keeps things in the universe at their appropriate places

Me: burp !!!!. damn yesterday's burger. i told you that place didnt look too good

Him : (With fury) . I dont like wasting my time. I somehow urge him to go on .

And the conversation goes on to a real serious level with .

His argument is that as each and every body in the system is affected by every other ,it is possible that the "time"(current status of happiness, wealth,luck) may be influenced by lets say saturn's 13th moon . or that small thing that looks like a piece of shit way over there.

Some people claim it to be a science . Ok if it's a science then why cant i see it man . If, wheather two people should be compatible enough to spend their entire lives together may be decided by some mortal man who throws a few shells in this hand, then marriage counsellers had better be looking around for Mcdonalds joints for work coz the burger at Sri rama halli gully really sucks bad man ..

Unlike some religious beliefs ,there are some common beliefs which make the rather desperate guy want to burn his hair just because he believes in it but somehow gives him a pseudo feeling that all's well that ends well.

Enter - The stud for whom a certain group has been waiting for . The group compromises a very good friend of the stag and his girlfriend ( all stags show off in front of their best friend's girl just to let them know about what they are missing in life), an old friend who popped in and ofcourse his normal hang out friends. So it so happens that this girl has quite a few drinks and gets totally drunk, outta control and sane (Everyone knows that girls talk sense when they are outta their senses . or is it the other way . guys accept all sorta crap as sense when they are drunk .There's a fine line between sense and non-sense . I guess context has a lot to do with that .
So the climax of the story is that the frustrated drunk stag takes the bill ofcourse in the view that he will be appropriately paid at a later point of time.

This is issued in Public interest of all the stags

I would to appeal to all of the opposite sex. If you drink, Please pay for your drinks and get the hell out . All the stags keep falling in the same ditch and then rub off the dust and go looking for another one to fall into .

I fell into a real deep ditch . i wont be getting out of it for some time . But you can be sure ill be in the hunt soon . It has to happen . I BELIEVE in it.
just bloody dirty beliefs . voodoo.. voodoo

Sign on the dotted line ......

Me and one of my colleagues were just rambling about something regarding triggers in oracle whereupon we suddenly stumbled upon the topic signatures . He said that he wanted a signature that related health wealth and character..

i just got my neurons into gear and was just contemplating about how my signature would look like . Ive seen quite a few signatures in my life and then was just relating them to the person . I guess the idea of signatures really sucks . In a way you are just trying to show case a bit of yourself to some other person who frankly is least bothered about it. He/she's just get finished with what you wanted to convey rather than ponder over your last line - the final cut - the icing on the cake....

Some people actually claim that the "last bits" are a work of art. A "last supper" just to fill in those little gaps. But sometimes they may actually look rather outta place .

hows this

To
The BABE adopting agencies
sir
i would love to adopt Michelle and im sure that you will find that i am a very able father but not quite so fortunate as far as scripting and making things are concerned . Kindly mail me back and let me know about when i will be able to meet you regarding the same

yours sincerely

Uday

"ash to ash
dust to dust
fade to black"

Some people like to GET TO THE POINT .
sir,
I would like to apply for the job that appeared in "Khaleej times" for the post of front desk . I would be extremely grateful if you would consider my application as per your kind perusal.
thanking you
yours sincerely
judy


"very funny scotty . now beam down my clothes"


Dear mary , sue
i seem to have found out from our appointments that you have a split personality . Certainly you will have to meet me soon . i have to meet you to tell you the repercussions of staying off the "split me baby one more time " therapy that i suggested.
Sue : If you're reading this , ill meet you at the Rue De la bLu in in venice at 10:00 hrs on june 1799
Mary : you are the holy grail and u will be a godess in the year 2055 which is just a year away . ill meet you at the Central Park
both of you keep in touch

you're shrink

feedmewithathought

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."


Dear papa
i have learned a lot in the juvenile detention center . But i told you that it was divine intervention that told me that i had to murder that man .. After that Gabriel told me to slice the guy and feed him to johny. Anyway i feel a "calling" to clean up this place now .

love you

sandy

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."



Respected colonel,
The u-15 the most sophisticated of all of the russian submarines is now fully operational and is on collision course with the USS767. We will fulfill all that is expected of the motherland or we will not turn our faces back towards Russia.

In your Service

Commander Drinka Soma Vodka

"Are there any experienced suicide bombers?"


hey jing a ling
we got a jig downtown man .. make sure u there .. heard that there are quite a few babes who land up there . we might actually get to lose it .

cya

badaboom

"I blow harder' 'well... I bang harder' - true converstion between a trumpeter and a drummer"



hey man

this shit keeps throwing me error no 346524#@$ (can you imagine they have a link for something this arbid?. i didnt even try man .)
i just donno what to do . mail me

1011010
coders:
10 Sin
20 goto Hell

So keeping in perspective all of the above , id rather not pull out an "x-file" of a signature . People say thatim outta this world . But i dont think i have to explicitly show it out.
Atleast not when i mail someone .

What dya say dudes?

Kinetic Zing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever have one of those days where u wake up in the morning and u just feel so refreshed. Then you just look out the window and there in the distance you see the beautiful sun . You stare at it so much u crave to be part of it . And you finally come to the conclusion that " it's gonna be a great day "

So the first thing you do is " do the ZING THING " .. you want to dress up so well that others will give you a look ..that people with dirty morose lives , people with mountainous problems can and will actually give a second in their lives to look at you and comment.

"Hey sandy . looking good today "
"You're dressed to kill"
"oh man what a sense of dressing"

But what the hell man . you still have that stubble from the week before ..that has to go .
Yes the gillete sensor excel ++ with 12 blades . that's the closest shave that i can get . ill make sure that the root doesnt see the light of day for the next katrillion light years..

but i need to smoothen the process .. i cant be too hard on my skin .. so ill use the good old spice extraaaaa smooth shaving cream.. smooth as ice ..but as soft as a the neighbour's daughter's cheek.

so you foam ..a rub a dub .. a rub a dub dub .. and you check the time
just 15 minutes to show time .. but u have to get the "zing"

So you swish and swash and swipe and then you wash your face only to realize that you have got a huge cut on your face..
And then you think " Hell that's ok ..im gonna ZING today man ."

So you put on your gogs and go in search of the brightest thing in your closet (that's right you need to protect your eyes) . and then you decide that ill give people the "double zing" . the shirt with the double colour -(purple and magnetic grey )

2 minutes to showdown - you put on your attire and then dont think about the other things thinking that they dont matter.

I would rather say that nothing but tragedy lies around the corner.


Scene 1 : Sexy girl whom you have a crush on enters ..

you : man.. Am i gonna Zing her or what ?

her : hey sandy . what were u shaving with .. an axe?

ZING !!!!ZING . at that moment of truth ..it dawns on you .. sexy girls dig people who shave with axes ..the hardcore types ..they just love them

Scene 2 : your best friend at work comes in

you : hey nishant .. how u doing man ..wassup

nish: hey you look like a traffic light man. is this the way u dress in your life - Ready , Set , Go

ZING !!! ZING
one of the ways to keep gays and pathans away from you is to just get set and go ..

in the end you can say that you would rather have a normal day rather than a ZING.. coz u can mind your own business and people DONT notice you ..

And you can go back to your drab morose life and just FIT IN

later then ....

Then it happened...

Ever wonder when the damn thing happened to you... you remember just the other day - you were running around without a care in the world, impressions , mannerisms and all the likes had no weight in your life -coz idiocracy was rather accepted . and then one day it just strikes you- that there are social concerns to what you do , what you say .. accountability becomes one part of you and then you realise that "other" people do exist in the world and that u may actually "affect" them .

i can distinctly remember my parents advicing me about "those types " when i joined college .. reminiscing i was rather a puppy then .. to grow and get accepted was becoming more of a need .. " hey sandy wassup "
" nothing man ..just chilling "..
well i still do have the above .. and as time flew by i grew into what people would term a "yo-yo" .. a metaphor for being "extra social" .. so then your values and morals sediment to the bottom of your black heart where pure blood used to flow.. in a day ... and smoke enters your lungs .. like an ice cold tundra chill that hits you and you crave it more and more

then it happens .. ure stuck in the web where u want to go back to your roots and touch your old self and a sense of self realisation overwhelms you only to remind you that ud rather be "those people" than yourself ...

it's like when my friend vineesh quoted ..writing what comes in your mind is like jumping off a cliff... many people woundnt understand it .. a sort of insanity ..but u fly in the end ... and ure free...

ure a free bird ....then it happens

the instructor comes in the lab and kicks you out for not doing the assignment and day dreaming ..... damn him ..or else i wud still be in the lab. works fun but damn the rules man

Awaiting deployment

Once upon a time ..there was a merry group "The weanies". The weanies were cut throat vegetarians, virtually dependant on their supply of greens.. So much was their dependancy that their entire lives were twined together like snakes in copulation. But there were problems soon to emerge betwen the weanies.
The main one being TIME.
The weanies always indulged in childish activities which would other wise never have significance in their single lives. And always there were two from the group who were responsible for the delivery of the greens. They would toss small green balls of the "stuff" - they called the elixir of life.. when used the green balls would give life a new meaning. things would be different . then others would come to devour the greens .But then it required some amount of processing before it could be taken in. Rather u would say that was the "luxury" of it. Small white elements were required to encapsulate the greens to make them less toxic and more edible.
There after this was used to feed millions of thoughts that the weanies had and of many others..their dreams were galore ..with infinitesimal energy they were capable of anything . Even conquering the world .. but sometimes in your dreams lies ur fate.
The weanies were part of a complex ecosystem some called society , yet others called the food chain . They saw him coming and they knew it was time to go. Time had placed a ransom on their heads. But to know that they were the ones who were running the whole world . the epicentre of life and to give up one's own existence to bloom newer things more beautiful..more than their little eyes could see ..much beyond the horizon .. yes certainly heaven.As their mother was taken out,the weanies could feel the life get out of them ..but they were happy....
The lily plant was gone ..and the weanies or the photosnthetic cells saw "GREEN" no more

Cntrl+Alt+del

Woe is me!!!!
If there was one thing that i would have done if i was given a second chance at life, it would be to murder turing. He's the one who did it all .. he invented it ..
Damn the computer . and damn all those people who bother to try and understand this bloody contraption. Well most of you would be pondering about why the hell i would be detesting this one eyed menace.
Well lets say after a gruelling ug in trichy , i just came here(sharjah) to get some good shut-eye, relax, and the likes . So my bro said there was something wrong with the sound card .. "aint no sound coming outta that thing" .
Hah ..a menial job for a guy who's been around comps for four years but has "NO IDEA OF HARDWARE". The truth of the matter is that i have never opened a comp in my 21 years of existence .
Remebering all those lovely conversations that left me starry eyed.
Comp nerd:"Well u see the thingamajig goes in to the third port and then you configure the modem . set your dns values.....
Me: " Ok ..that's it huh.So simple"
And well coz my inexperience led me to believe that a sound card was infact a card that goes in to some slot in the comp.
So i set out to open the comp.I had to establish my credibility as an engineer who could understand the box.So i spent 2 weeks inserting and removing the so called "CARD". Finding drivers ..changing the slot...etc etc till i finally did get fed up and decided it was time to get some professional help ( that's right im a computer engineer. So much for credibility ).
There after i approached this charming young man that i met in the basketball court coz word was around that he used to assemble comps.
Me: "Hey i was just wondering if you know how to check out the FCC identification number." ( I was just trying to make conversation )
I told him about the problem at hand and he offered to help . So i gave him the "CARD". And he gave me this look .
And i thought. "He already knows the solution. He knows what to do . Finally here's one person who understands the damn box"
And he said " This is a vgi card . it's for ur display "
Well the should write that on the card.
The truth is that they did have MATROX DISPLAY on the chip.Woe is me .. well then i found out that the sound card was built in and then i tried upgrading to xp and the comp became so slow , i could see the electrons moving on the circuit (i guess that's too much of an exaggeration ).
and then we called my uncle who was computer in charge at his company and he rectified the whole thing.
Moral of the story:We shud have been born in the stone age where there was no comp , women were public property, dinosaurs were pets.......and the better things in life like beer and burgers were yet to be discovered....
Damn you comp ....(111000101010101010101010101010101010)
love sandy

a lil bit of monica in my life!!!!!!

so david had his turn at his sec . and SVen goran .damn i shud have been a footballer . it would have been so easy to kick ball and enjoy life .. rumour has it that Olio is infact pregnant and that Sven might be the father (atlast a little bundle of joy for the coach - didnt do well in the chamoinships though) coz he did it the last time . well i must say that twas a close shave for Oligano solskaer who was just before him .

i wonder how the conversation might have gone.

Sv: Olio the fate of english football is in my hands . but i feel a lack of energy.

Olio . But u must not tire now my dear . let me help you

Sv: and how will a mere secretary like you with no football history teach a coach like me .

moments later

Olio and SV : (in unison ). @##%$^%$*#$#%&

Olio : Cmon u old goat .. bend it like becham .

A Toast to all the secretaries from lewinsky to Roos to Olio

- Let's Play BALL

luv
sj

hey ..

well this is just to get going .. i always thought i cud rite ..forget abt spelling .but rite ...definitely.. my inspiration happens to be DBC(Durty Butt Clean ).. if he can do it ...nyone can