Sign on the dotted line ......

Me and one of my colleagues were just rambling about something regarding triggers in oracle whereupon we suddenly stumbled upon the topic signatures . He said that he wanted a signature that related health wealth and character..

i just got my neurons into gear and was just contemplating about how my signature would look like . Ive seen quite a few signatures in my life and then was just relating them to the person . I guess the idea of signatures really sucks . In a way you are just trying to show case a bit of yourself to some other person who frankly is least bothered about it. He/she's just get finished with what you wanted to convey rather than ponder over your last line - the final cut - the icing on the cake....

Some people actually claim that the "last bits" are a work of art. A "last supper" just to fill in those little gaps. But sometimes they may actually look rather outta place .

hows this

To
The BABE adopting agencies
sir
i would love to adopt Michelle and im sure that you will find that i am a very able father but not quite so fortunate as far as scripting and making things are concerned . Kindly mail me back and let me know about when i will be able to meet you regarding the same

yours sincerely

Uday

"ash to ash
dust to dust
fade to black"

Some people like to GET TO THE POINT .
sir,
I would like to apply for the job that appeared in "Khaleej times" for the post of front desk . I would be extremely grateful if you would consider my application as per your kind perusal.
thanking you
yours sincerely
judy


"very funny scotty . now beam down my clothes"


Dear mary , sue
i seem to have found out from our appointments that you have a split personality . Certainly you will have to meet me soon . i have to meet you to tell you the repercussions of staying off the "split me baby one more time " therapy that i suggested.
Sue : If you're reading this , ill meet you at the Rue De la bLu in in venice at 10:00 hrs on june 1799
Mary : you are the holy grail and u will be a godess in the year 2055 which is just a year away . ill meet you at the Central Park
both of you keep in touch

you're shrink

feedmewithathought

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."


Dear papa
i have learned a lot in the juvenile detention center . But i told you that it was divine intervention that told me that i had to murder that man .. After that Gabriel told me to slice the guy and feed him to johny. Anyway i feel a "calling" to clean up this place now .

love you

sandy

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."



Respected colonel,
The u-15 the most sophisticated of all of the russian submarines is now fully operational and is on collision course with the USS767. We will fulfill all that is expected of the motherland or we will not turn our faces back towards Russia.

In your Service

Commander Drinka Soma Vodka

"Are there any experienced suicide bombers?"


hey jing a ling
we got a jig downtown man .. make sure u there .. heard that there are quite a few babes who land up there . we might actually get to lose it .

cya

badaboom

"I blow harder' 'well... I bang harder' - true converstion between a trumpeter and a drummer"



hey man

this shit keeps throwing me error no 346524#@$ (can you imagine they have a link for something this arbid?. i didnt even try man .)
i just donno what to do . mail me

1011010
coders:
10 Sin
20 goto Hell

So keeping in perspective all of the above , id rather not pull out an "x-file" of a signature . People say thatim outta this world . But i dont think i have to explicitly show it out.
Atleast not when i mail someone .

What dya say dudes?

Kinetic Zing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever have one of those days where u wake up in the morning and u just feel so refreshed. Then you just look out the window and there in the distance you see the beautiful sun . You stare at it so much u crave to be part of it . And you finally come to the conclusion that " it's gonna be a great day "

So the first thing you do is " do the ZING THING " .. you want to dress up so well that others will give you a look ..that people with dirty morose lives , people with mountainous problems can and will actually give a second in their lives to look at you and comment.

"Hey sandy . looking good today "
"You're dressed to kill"
"oh man what a sense of dressing"

But what the hell man . you still have that stubble from the week before ..that has to go .
Yes the gillete sensor excel ++ with 12 blades . that's the closest shave that i can get . ill make sure that the root doesnt see the light of day for the next katrillion light years..

but i need to smoothen the process .. i cant be too hard on my skin .. so ill use the good old spice extraaaaa smooth shaving cream.. smooth as ice ..but as soft as a the neighbour's daughter's cheek.

so you foam ..a rub a dub .. a rub a dub dub .. and you check the time
just 15 minutes to show time .. but u have to get the "zing"

So you swish and swash and swipe and then you wash your face only to realize that you have got a huge cut on your face..
And then you think " Hell that's ok ..im gonna ZING today man ."

So you put on your gogs and go in search of the brightest thing in your closet (that's right you need to protect your eyes) . and then you decide that ill give people the "double zing" . the shirt with the double colour -(purple and magnetic grey )

2 minutes to showdown - you put on your attire and then dont think about the other things thinking that they dont matter.

I would rather say that nothing but tragedy lies around the corner.


Scene 1 : Sexy girl whom you have a crush on enters ..

you : man.. Am i gonna Zing her or what ?

her : hey sandy . what were u shaving with .. an axe?

ZING !!!!ZING . at that moment of truth ..it dawns on you .. sexy girls dig people who shave with axes ..the hardcore types ..they just love them

Scene 2 : your best friend at work comes in

you : hey nishant .. how u doing man ..wassup

nish: hey you look like a traffic light man. is this the way u dress in your life - Ready , Set , Go

ZING !!! ZING
one of the ways to keep gays and pathans away from you is to just get set and go ..

in the end you can say that you would rather have a normal day rather than a ZING.. coz u can mind your own business and people DONT notice you ..

And you can go back to your drab morose life and just FIT IN

later then ....

Then it happened...

Ever wonder when the damn thing happened to you... you remember just the other day - you were running around without a care in the world, impressions , mannerisms and all the likes had no weight in your life -coz idiocracy was rather accepted . and then one day it just strikes you- that there are social concerns to what you do , what you say .. accountability becomes one part of you and then you realise that "other" people do exist in the world and that u may actually "affect" them .

i can distinctly remember my parents advicing me about "those types " when i joined college .. reminiscing i was rather a puppy then .. to grow and get accepted was becoming more of a need .. " hey sandy wassup "
" nothing man ..just chilling "..
well i still do have the above .. and as time flew by i grew into what people would term a "yo-yo" .. a metaphor for being "extra social" .. so then your values and morals sediment to the bottom of your black heart where pure blood used to flow.. in a day ... and smoke enters your lungs .. like an ice cold tundra chill that hits you and you crave it more and more

then it happens .. ure stuck in the web where u want to go back to your roots and touch your old self and a sense of self realisation overwhelms you only to remind you that ud rather be "those people" than yourself ...

it's like when my friend vineesh quoted ..writing what comes in your mind is like jumping off a cliff... many people woundnt understand it .. a sort of insanity ..but u fly in the end ... and ure free...

ure a free bird ....then it happens

the instructor comes in the lab and kicks you out for not doing the assignment and day dreaming ..... damn him ..or else i wud still be in the lab. works fun but damn the rules man